#12 – The One year mark

Do you remember your first birthday? Of course not.

But your first anniversary? I bet you do.

How come? Was it so special that you remember every moment? Or wait… Did you forget it by any chance? Maybe you got an earful for that.

So many questions because… you guessed it right. On the cusp of the first anniversary and my mind is whirring with so many unforgettable moments of the year gone by, so many incidents, so many happy or sad or angry or frightful moments. But none of it spent alone.

What’s so special you may ask. Well, here goes:

Month 1 – The quintessential honeymoon phase

Neither of us know each other too well and we try to be very adaptable, always smiling with a nothing-can-go-wrong-in-this-world optimism that even the news of a ticking time bomb underneath our seats can’t break!

Month 2 – Sharing phase

The toddlers learn that you get if you give and you give if you want to get. So what’s yours is mine and what’s mine is yours. It’s the same thing in different words. The couple stays as a single unit in this phase and just can’t seem to part.

Month 3 – Yours and mine

The boundaries are set. You like that so you keep it. This will always be mine. Any food item he hates will fall in her plate and if her favourite movie plays on tv, he misses his cricket match.(This hasn’t and probably never will happen!)

Month 4 – Agree to disagree

When compromises lessen and more of the ego sets in, the disagreements begin. She says lets go to the lake and he says lets go to the movies. Neither wants to give up and neither wants to compromise. The argument continues.

Month 5 – Stranger danger

The spouse never ceases to amaze you. Every day or almost everyday, something new and unique about him/ her is revealed. The months earlier seem almost like nothing at all. It’s like living with a stranger.

Month 6 – The unmissable Landmarks

When work keeps the couple apart at an important landmark like say, the 30th birthday of the spouse and they can’t spend time together. There’s a reason why they are landmarks – they cannot be missed. Tensions are high.

Month 7 – Guilt games

The guilt from earlier pushes the couple into taking joint decisions. Whether its buying a laptop or just whose hometown to visit, life just becomes easier with shorter and more in-sync discussions.

Month 8 – Stand up

No! I’m not talking about that! This is when they stand up for each other in public/ in front of others. Even if there was a mistake on her part, he stands up to everyone and defends her, the true knight in shining armour.

Month 9 – The break

Only when they get away from civilization and spend time alone do they truly appreciate each other. They play like little kids, fight like little kids and finally become friends for life.

Month 10 – New beginnings

A whole lot of changes brings along with it, a whole lot of strength and resilience. They each become a pillar of strength for one another to deal with the new developments as a team, to overcome and adapt, to comply and to endure.

Month 11 – The guest quest

“Its almost one year since you got married and still no good news ah?” Every toothless granny and every hairless uncle asks this question at the umpteen functions that they’re attending. It’s the marriage season that they just can’t avoid and the pestering relatives they just want to avoid.

Month 12 – Just a number

The one year mark hits you right in the face. This person you never knew a year back, has been your constant companion, roommate, travel buddy, comfort pillow, pet puppy(!), best friend and even soulmate for the last one year, 365 whole days of their lives.

That’s an awful lot to sacrifice for anyone but when it means that it’s going to last a lifetime, its just a drop in the ocean.

P.S: Some of the insights are based on true life incidents. The rest are general perceptions that everyone relates to. Hope you do too?

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